When I can’t figure out what’s going on with me – I blame it on the move! So you should know that any time I mess up…the move gets blamed. Seems fair, right?
Well…my husband and I both almost messed up royally…but thankfully, we didn’t.
Today is our wedding anniversary and we almost forgot it and that has NEVER, EVER happened. I mean girls just don’t forget these things. How do you forget your wedding anniversary?
We were talking about it over coffee in bed yesterday…trying to figure out what was STILL going on and I said, “Blame it on the MOVE!”
This post is for anyone who has ever uprooted your life and moved far away from all that is familiar, because I’m pretty sure you’ll understand. A big move is unsettling in a whole lot of ways that you can ever begin to anticipate. It forces you to go to places in deep in your soul that you’ve hidden away and you don’t really want to discover…but you have to.
One of our favorite places to just sit.
And I keep wondering when I will have uncovered all of it. The answer is – never, because there will always be stuff to discover and uncover and deal with and usually it won’t be easy.
I’ve started paying closer attention to the “mess-ups” and you know what…they’re the little details of life that I used to have under control.
I’ve forgotten birthdays because somehow I lost my birthday book! Yes…I keep a birthday book or at least I used to keep one. And now I have to rely on Facebook to let me know when my friends’ birthdays are and I find that really disturbing.
We spent 5 days searching for the cream-colored cozy blanket that we always put on our bed in the winter. We found it in the garage in the rafters with the Christmas stuff! What? Yep…this is the sort of thing that happens.
My printer needs new ink and I know I have a stash of color ink somewhere in my office…but I can’t find it. This tells me that even though I’d like to think I have it all together…I don’t.
I’ve figured out that it takes awhile to get in your groove. You know that wonderful feeling when you just have it together? Well…I don’t have that yet and I’ve lived here for 18 months. So where is my groove? I sure hope I didn’t leave it in Los Angeles!
I receive emails and messages from people who, just like me, moved across the country and a similar thread ties them all together and it’s this – how long does it take for this new place to really feel like home? They’re messages of loneliness…and sadness…and just an overall feeling of not feeling right.
I wish I could tell you. I wish I knew the answer. I think it’s different for everyone. Just when I think I have it figured out, I have a day where nothing makes sense and I feel lost and alone. So here’s what I do now…I pick up the phone and I call a new friend and I reach out and I make a plan to get out of my funk. And so far, it works pretty well, because that’s what friends are for and aren’t we grateful for the gift of friendship. And if no one is available right here in Franklin, I call a friend in Los Angeles and I pour my heart out and I ask for kindness and it always comes.
When I can’t find my stuff or I forget an important date, I blame it on the Move and I know that with each passing day, I’m getting closer to getting into my groove. It’s not easy…but I’m pretty sure life isn’t meant to always be easy and we’re always meant to be growing and moving towards the next place that we can’t always know.
We have to keep trying, but more importantly we have to forgive ourselves when we stumble. I’m learning forgiveness and the more I practice it, the better I feel.
I’m really happy that my brain kicked in and remembered our anniversary. We’re celebrating 17 years of marriage…a lot of miles in the journey and we’re having a quiet dinner at Mack & Kate’s with our favorite waiter, Wayne.
This photo was taken on the rooftop of the Beverly Hills Hotel in November and it was 84 degrees.
Ahhh, life…so much to understand and wrap your head around.
Can you relate to this? If so, I’d love to hear your thoughts.
Until next time…xoxo